he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
