i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
