Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
