That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
