Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
