But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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