U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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