David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
