Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
being pregnant is like rehab
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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