I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
