I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
