with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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