Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
