Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
