I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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