As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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