everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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