is your mom at the bar?
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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