so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
