The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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