would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
