She is in my trunk
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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