Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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