But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
