I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize