At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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