all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
