i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
