you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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