i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
