I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There's always time for handjobs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
