What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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