You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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