'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize