does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
