Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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