Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
