I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
