Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
the raccoons are back...
Randomize