I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
