Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
