I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize