It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
