Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
