I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
