i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
