Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
