No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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