Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
