I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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