I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize