Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
