I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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