You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
