Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
