would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Randomize