So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
