Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
