"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
